There are stories with short last lines and there are stories with well-constructed conclusions. Personally I don't/didn't like the last line ending. It kind of terminated the story in a flash.
The line previous to the last line is mysterious, where the women are looking at each other.
But as your first time, you have constructed a very interesting read.
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Date: 2008-08-29 04:44 am (UTC)The line previous to the last line is mysterious, where the women are looking at each other.
But as your first time, you have constructed a very interesting read.